Women women everywhere…by Matt

Women women everywhere.....

The self help groups that we spent time with were inspiring in the extreme. I’ve never met such a fun, cheeky, determined group of women. Firstly it was a privilege to be allowed to join them in the first place, as men are usually not allowed at all. I joined their circle on the ground and immediately they wanted to talk to me and tell me about their lives, in particular who they have changed.

Many had sad stories about the tsunami, but they didn’t dwell on these. Instead they proudly showed me there savings book and talked to me about their new skills. They were making sea shell ornament, which they sell in the tourist markets on Kanyakumari. They are about to start learning tailoring, so they can branch out into saree making.

Yet it was there personal lives they were so keen to share with me and Iva. They all told how they had had arranged marriages, and without the help and support of the group they would not even be allowed out of there house

I cheekily asked which one of them had the most attractive husband, and was shocked at the distain with which they immediately said that all their husbands were awful to them. Our translator told us they then all began recalling stories of alcoholism and abuse.

They said how jealous they were that we had ‘love’ marriages in the UK. They all wished they could have had a ‘love’ marriage, and the older ones told stories of murder in abuse in such cases. They would try and bring their daughter up to look for these, but also said that it was their boys who actually needed to be re-educated, yet they said they had least control over them.

What was so interesting was that it provoked genuine debate amongst the group. In particular the older women, who were clearly in disagreement with the ‘radical’ views of their younger friends. But then one, who seemed the oldest, said that actually, she was really just jealous of the younger ones, as they had a chance to live a fuller life.

They have used such simple straight forward ways to empower these women. They have simply entrusted them with a small aunt of money and given them the skills to save and invest them. They are then trained in skills to be able to sell products and educated in basic social issues. Finally, and most importantly, they have created a safe and protected space and environment for them, where once a week they can meet, talk and discuss there problems, but more importantly, support and encourage each other.

As with most people I’ve met here, I will always remember these women and hope to be able to draw from their courage and inspiration.

Finally, what summed it up the afternoon was a man who came careering down the alley way where we sat on his flashy motorbike. He reached the women, and assuming that they would all stand up and move out of his way, stayed on his bike revving his engine. The women simply ignored him. The guy soon realised this, and was made to get off his bike, park it, and carefully squeeze past them on foot, having to continue the rest of the journey on foot. I caught on one of the older women’s eye at that point, and she flashed me a very cheeky and wry smile!

Matt