The 'Art of Conversation'

Hi, Matt here - hope you are enjoying reading about the projects.

After 2 days now shadwoing at the truckers project what struck me the most was the staff’s skills in ‘conversation’. When we train to be youth workers we read books and books on what makes for a good conversation and how conversation must be at the heart of our work…yet here I saw the art of conversation practised. The work that goes on at the Highway 7 project with Truckers, cleaners and stall holders is outreach work at the extreme. They usually talk to over 100 people a day, giving condom demonstrations, discussing HIV, STIs and distributing condoms.

The way they were able to approach people, put them at ease and gain their confidence so quickly, so that within about one minute they were happy talking about their sexual history, whether they use sex workers and then practise putting a condom on a plastic penis! We were all amazed at how quickly they were able to turn a puzzled look that said “Why are you to coming to talk to me” to beginning a condom demonstration in what seemed an impossible short space of time.

Some men we talked to opened up to them for the first time that they had ‘embarrassing’ symptoms of STIs and had never be brave enough to tell people. Several people whilst I was there were diagnosed. One man, who it turned out had Ghonerea for over a year, opened up, telling us that he used sex workers whilst away. He had no idea about condoms, so had probably been passing it on to everyone he had sex with and almost certainly onto his wife back home. Within 10 minutes of talk to the team, they were then able to begin treatment and he can go away with a bag of condoms and the skills and confidence to use them and stop passing it on up the highway.

They cover in 10 minutes what would take 3 or 4 sessions in the UK, and this was 100% down to them being to put people at ease and discuss taboo subjects with them freely in a non-judgemental and constructive way.

After the 2-days we had spent shadowing them, we had a workshop with the staff where we discussed their work. I was determined to learn how they are so good at this. If I could only become 30% the conversationalists they are! We waited on tender hooks, like were about to receive the holy grail of youth work!....They all said that it was done simply by being natural and honest. Naresh explained his techniques. He said you cannot be direct and had to straight away try and develop a friendly atmosphere. He was aim was to be in their confidence. He would always start with a general discussion. ‘How they are’ where they are from’ what goods they are carrying etc. He would then get into the personal stuff by asking if they were married. If so, he’d ask that it must be very lonely being away from home for months on end and asking how they cope with that. He said this usually allowed him to then ask about their sexual activities and if they visited the local sex workers. From then on in, he was in, and would then go to talk about STIs HIV, use of condoms etc.

It was a pleasure to see them in action and I hope I can take a little bit of it home and become a better conversationalist – just 10% as good as these guys would be fantastic!

88Do drop us some comments and questions - we are off to Kanyakumari tonight (via a night in Mumbai)88